BLOOD SPEAK OUT LOUD

Helping without expecting anything in return, helping someone never knew before, not a member of the family, not extended families either, still maintained, could find in certain communities in Indonesia. How come this attitude could happened in modern age, including with them in high level of education. In this case blood speak out loud as the reason.

In December 16, 2010 I went to Duri town in southern part of Sumatra island, Indonesia to attend a wedding of my little sister, Norma Situmeang. A lots of Situmeang family who lived in that area, gathered to discuss about the wedding two days before D day. In a solid brotherhood, we agreed to serve tree big Gold fishes and a special, expensive Ulos scarf to be presented in the wedding, financed together.

At the time of discussion a question raised: “Who is a big brother and who is a little brother in these Situmeang group ?”. For the time being we called each other as a brother. In this case, from the age point of view, I was an older in the group, just coming to town from Jakarta, capital of Indonesia. But in the family tree system, age isn’t the determine factor. Status depend, based on the generation in chronological order. Ultimately, we couldn’t come to the same understanding and be in a status quo for the time being.

To know precise what our exact status is in the family tree, we dial a 75 years old Situmeang at Medan city, some 400 miles away in North Sumatra with Blackberry speaker On mode, so the gathering could hear. From the other side of the phone that senior man confirmed that I was not as a brother, but a level higher, in a father position. Every one in the gathering respect, accepted and conform that my status in the Family tree is 13th and the host is 14th generation.

The second case happened on my bike journey from my hometown, Sibolga to Tarutung town, North Sumatra, 66 kilometer length, on December 27, 2010.
A day before, my Face Book friend - not meet before - called me:”Don’t forget to have lunch tomorrow, I serve fresh fish grill”, she invite me for lunch. She called me from her father house in the village, 30 kilometers away from Sibolga town. I assumed we would have lunch at the village.

Unfortunately, the next day when I reach that village, Parsingkaman, she isn’t available there but at her own home in Sibolga town. We had made miscommunication. She urged us to stop by at her Dad house at the Village for lunch. Before lunch served, her father, 80 years old unexpected said: ”I knew your father well and I knew your history”, he said, even we never meet before. “When both of your parents he passed away, I was there in the funeral”, he conform.
                                15th generation

I was wonder with what he just said. With a slow motion, serious face he explained :
“I was your Dad’s agent here in this village to buy rubber”, he said. “He was a sincere business man”, he said with a smile. They become a close business partner so far and a friend within Situmeang clan.

Two funny things happened this time. First having date for lunch with a lady, Meriati Situmeang a Face book friend - never met before face to face. Second, met her old father who knew my father – deceased - and knew my own story well.

The 3rd case happened in other village, when I reach kilometer 51, rain drop and dark start in early evening. A group of hangout men asked me:” Where are you going in this cold and dark night”, they ask in unison. “To Tarutung town”, I said unhesitant. Then one man asked me : “Why don’t you stay overnight”, he said politely and offered his house. But another man suggested :”Just go ahead and stop by at the blue house” pointing a house at the end of the Lobupining village. The house belong to Situmeang family too.
Culture say, if any problem arise, let the same clan handle it first before somebody else.

In a cold evening and raining, my body sweating after exhausted pedal my bike, the family served me a glass of hot sweet tea. It was grateful to have a hot tea to warm my body. The hot tea is my most need more then anything else in the world, welcome me by a similar family name, Situmeang, off course not knowing each other before.

Soon after sit on a new sheet over the floor, the father took out a wide white sheet from a cupboard in the guest room and spread wide in front of us. The white sheet is a diagram, a stucture chart of Situmeang family tree. He asked me in a very serious face :”Who is your ancestor”, he point the second line of the chart. Fortunately, I knew my ancestors well and pointed a name “Jamita Mangaraja Situmeang”. Finally. without any arguing I accepted to call him “father”, since his level one level higher above me. He is number 12th and myself is 13th generation.

After we conform the Family tree, then I asked him a favor :”Would you mind to assigned someone drive a motor bike to shine my bike way in early evening to my last destination, Tarutung town, 15 kilometers away, since my bike has no a lamp. But he preferred to saved my bike in his house and let me spent the night at the Hotel in town and stop a Bus for me. The next day I will come to pick up my bike again.

The last case, the 4th, is a family tree clearance happened at the end of December 2010, when the villagers just come down from to Sibolga town, met in a house belong to Situmeang family, a retirement of Bank BRI.
Tree of us pointed Mr.Bonaran Situmeang, as a refrence, a well known National lawyer from Jakarta. Currently this lawyer come to Sibolga as a candidate of Head of district (Bupati) competing with 2 other candidates.

From Family tree point of view, this lawyer called me Grand father and the villager and the host, was originally come from the same village with this lawyer, called them Grand father as well. Tree of us are the 13th generation, while the lawyer is the 15th generation.

From the 4 cases above, it make clear about status in a Situmeang clan and as a consequence, open our heart and passion to help each other as told above without expecting something in return, solely because the blood speak out loud. The last thing is that every single family had an obligation without any written law or instruction to do so, maintain and updating his Family tree to make sure the exact status in the big Situmeang clan.